I was recently shown a knife catalog by a co-worker. I remember the days of living in rural Pennsylvania, selling rifles and buck tags. As those memories flooded back in like a Porta-John had been upended, I recalled having seen a similar magazine come through my mailbox on several occasions. At the time I thought nothing of it being that everyone carried a knife with them--I suppose for that occasion when one would need to gut a deer on the fly.

Regardless of the many questionable items contained within, I found their advertising campaign for the Christmas catalog rather disturbing. The thought of giving your relatives a replica Klingon dagger whilst Uncle Joe sloshes down another cup of nearly expired Egg Nog, albeit amusing, isn't quite how I picture the Yuletide season. Call me a traditionalist. There was something even more humorous about the thought of Santa sliding down your chimney with a bag full of 14 inch Colt Jungle Commander knives (p.71), belt buckles featuring a confederate flag with the title BUBBA written across it (p. 131), and a few Masonic Zippo lighters (p. 120). I just hope that Jolly Old St. Nick doesn't get his list smudged by the snow and give Billy a Stainless Steel Boot knife instead of that basketball he really wanted.

I also chuckled at the tag line "Who's on YOUR 'good' list?" on the website banner ad. I guess the terror inducing thought of the Grinch stealing Christmas has made even kind Kris Kringle pack some steel in his sleigh. And remember kids, you only get the REALLY good knives if you do your homework, eat your vegetables, and say your prayers. I know I am saying one now.